Make this decision NOW!
Jen Hoey 
Online predators pose a significant threat to all children who are online. Certain decisions we make as parents are crucial in preventing this.
Predators have always sought easy access to children. This is not new information.
In the past, they had to put in some effort. They had to get jobs, or hobbies, that gave them trust, access, and opportunity. They took time to build reputations and gain power. They used their positions to ensure that few dared ask questions, and those that did were easily silenced. Or they built such positive, close relationships with families that no-one thought to look for their true intentions.
Plenty still do take this road. Over 90% of sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known and trusted by the child — that’s a statistic we cannot afford to ignore.
But while many still choose to put in the time and effort in the physical world, they no longer need to.
Despite our 'working with children' checks, our policy developments, our raised awareness, our hard-working charities, and police forces; the truth is, the internet has made life so much easier for them to get exactly what they’re after children.
They no longer even need to leave their own home.
Instead, they only need to turn on their computer, or pick up their phone. They can look up the latest app and create a profile.
And suddenly, there they are. Building relationships and spending time with our children in ways that we would never dream of allowing in the physical world. In our children’s bedrooms, following them around the house, contacting them directly — right under our noses, yet completely invisible to us.
Some pretend to be a child themselves; others pretend to be teens of the opposite sex; some don’t even bother.
At first, they come bearing praise, showing interest, building rapport and connection.
“Are you alone?”
“I love that pic.!”
“You’re such a good dancer!”
They request photos. They suggest games. They suggest private messaging apps. Again, they praise.
They share p0rnographic pictures and videos, normalising sexual activity, teaching our children that this is just ‘what people do’, or ‘how they show they care’.
Then they’ll threaten.
They'll threaten with the pictures they have, they'll threaten with;
“nobody will love you”
“you have to keep it a secret"
"nobody will believe you”
“you’ll be taken away”
“it‘s all your fault”
And they ask for more...
It should also be noted that the @Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation has said that in some cases, grooming can take place in a matter of minutes.
We wouldn’t let a stranger into our houses, into our child’s bedroom, to play behind a closed door. We wouldn’t dream of it. So why on earth do we do it with a screen?
Someone recently asked me; “but what happens? Do they ask to meet the child in person?”
Maybe - and harm will certainly ensue if they do. But the answer doesn’t matter. Because — as I’ve said before — when abuse happens online, it doesn’t make it any less real.
The ramifications can last a lifetime.
You might be tempted to think I’m writing this to be overdramatic, or that I’m exaggerating the risks. You’ll just have to trust me when I tell you I’m not. In fact, there’s so much more I could say...
It’s clear that the internet has brought us so much good. Our screens can bring creativity, connection, convenience.
But to keep our children safe, there’s a decision you need to make.
If you want to keep your kids safe online — safe from cyber bullying, safe from predators, safe from p0rn, safe from mental health issues — then you need to make this decision now.
Make it, explain it, and never change your mind.
... and that decision is this...
Never let devices behind closed doors — ever.
Not during the day, not at night. Not because you’re busy, not because you’re tired. Not because they begged. Not because you’re sure it’ll be fine and not because “just this once should be ok”.
And please, closely supervise young children.
I say all this with bucket loads of empathy. I know it’s easier said than done. I know it’s not an easy road.
- We all get tired.
- We all need to get stuff done.
- We all have a lot to deal with.
But right now, today, there are, according to the FBI, about 750,000 predators are online daily.
Please don’t give them the opportunity.
That’s why I’m writing this post despite knowing you already have enough to worry about.
If you make this decision, and you stick to it, you will never, ever regret that. But you may very well regret it if you don’t.